Sound bite from our home

Not earth-shattering, just a cute short story.

Both of my sons recently had the stomach flu for a day. It wasn’t pretty, of course, but being sick does have its benefits. They were all-too-happy to have the TV-viewing moritorium lifted so they could lay on the couch, spit buckets in hand, and have a day off from chores.

The Morning After (if you will), Fisher-son woke up (after 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep) and quietly announced that he was feeling much better and was looking forward to our weekend plans.

Archer-son, on the other hand, Tigger-ed his way to my side and declared: Hey Mom! It’s me! I’m back to being me again! Now I guess I’ll have to get re-used to not being dizzy.”

(I LOVE bein’ a mommy!)

Copyright © 2010 Deborah Rice, PeaPodFamilyPress

The beauty of home education

There are so many benefits to homeschooling. I know that many people think that children who are home educated lack socialization opportunities. I think it would take A LOT of effort to be an anti-social homeschooler. There is so much going on out there during the day that my children absolutely do not lack social opportunities.

Not too long ago, my boys and I went on a date to a local amusement park which has a couple of rollercoasters, bumper boats, an arcade, and a miniature golf course. Because we went during the day of a school week, we literally had the run of the place! We were able to have other homeschool friends join us and the operator of the bumper boats let us stay on as long as we liked because he “didn’t have anything better to do” and we were only too happy to help him out!

Recently we also attended a cooking class at a local upscale kitchen accessories store: for FREE! We met up with another homeschool family and all 9 of us learned how to make pretzels and pasta from scratch using wholesome ingredients! Who would want to eat store-bought pasta anymore?? We went home and the boys had a great time turning out the pasta! It was like working with Play-doh only we were making REAL food instead of pretend food like we did when they were younger!

Last week we went to a medical appointment where we were all able to see our blood under a microscope that was projected on a large screen. We learned that Fisher-Son drinks PLENTY of water and that Archer-Son and I need to drink MORE water. I already knew this, but seeing the effects of good hydration on the big screen had a huge impact on my sons (and me)! My oldest was able to “assist” the nurse in identifying the various cells visible through a process of matching the shapes and other identifying features to a legend in her notebook that she let him hold. HEY now . . . do you think they would have had this kind of individual attention in a classroom?? Nope!

And this week for our art class we went to a Make-It-and-Paint-It-Yourself pottery store. This was unplanned, but when another homeschool family announced that this store was running a too-good-to-pass-up special, we changed our plans and met our friends over there to make some pottery pieces for our home. While we painted and created, my 7-year-old son and my friend’s 10-year-old daughter exchanged various facts about animals and I don’t know what all else. It was an amazing conversation and I thought how comfortable they were with each other, even though they were differing ages. We get to pick up those pieces today and my kids couldn’t be more excited!

When we went to our Community Group Bible Study on Wednesday night, my children had at least 7 other children with whom they interacted, as well as with the adults who were present.

And today, since we’ve been studying the Civil War in history, the boys took their plastic army guys and put on a re-enactment of the Battle on Cemetery Hill, complete with the accurate names of soldiers like General Jackson, Longstreet, and so forth. They did this during their “free time” and I said to them, “Hey guys! Did you know you’re doing school right now?” My oldest replied, “And I thought we were just playing!”

Loss of socialization because of homeschooling? No way. I think my children in the past 10 days have willingly socialized with more people in various age groups who have a wide variety of interests than a child schooled in a government school. They are as comfortable holding a conversation with an adult as they are interacting with a toddler. And the past 10 days are not unique. This is how it is for this homeschool family!

And I’ll add another example before I close. Last week I went out for coffee and a muffin for a much-needed one-on-one visit with a friend. Another friend took my sons hiking with her. When she brought them back to me, they were bubbling with the news that during their hike they had observed a nest that was wedged in the arm of a saguaro and a baby owl popped its head over the edge to peek at them. They discussed the reasons why a nocturnal animal was awake during the day and I thought to myself, here we are in the middle of a trendy bakery and my sons are still “doing school” as they fill me in on their adventurous hike. My oldest son chose this topic to write about in his journal that he writes in 5 days/week and drew a picture of what he saw on the hike. I think that’s way better than seeing a filmstrip of owls in a stuffy classroom, don’t you??

Even now, as I put the finishing touches on this post, my sons are getting ready for us to run errands, including picking up our pottery. My youngest is the sort of person who ALWAYS sings in the bathroom. As I type, he is singing one of his favorite hymns (and humming while the toothbrush is in his mouth) and I, his momma, get to be the one to hear this and smile.

What a joy that I am present to listen and observe the choices my sons make and then I am the one who gets to instruct them as to their character: affirming them when they are making gentlemen choices and redirecting and correcting when necessary. From what I can tell, a child’s parents are best equipped to teach, train, correct, affirm, and love them along the way until it is time to launch them into adulthood.

I love being a homeschool mom and I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessings He has given me that allow me, a single mom, to be home full-time with my children and obey the command of Deuteronomy 6:5-9, a passage many of us know well, but sometimes forget to consider:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Copyright © 2010 Deborah Rice, PeaPodFamilyPress

A tribute to my mom, Eunice

My mom, Eunice, has been with the LORD for over 7 years now. I still have moments when I think, “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Mom what the boys just said.” Or, when the girls left, how I longed to call my own mommy and cry on her shoulder.

When I was a little girl, Mom taught me to never say, “I’m bored.” She had a way of making sure my boredom was transformed into a cleaner bedroom, closet, or kitchen. I can honestly say I’ve never been bored a day in my life since discovering that there’s ALWAYS something constructive to do. This has contributed to my foundation of diligence in my own home, although I’m not sure my bedroom, closets, or kitchen would pass her inspection! And it has helped me to respond to my own children when they declare, “I’m bored.”

I learned to ask first before making plans with my friends. This has made it easier for me to remember to seek my Lord’s counsel before moving ahead with my own plans.

I learned to love the comfort of a warm robe fresh from the dryer as I stepped out of the bathtub on a cold winter’s evening. That might not seem like such a big deal, but mom was very frugal. Knowing that she would toss a single item into the dryer just for me warmed me inside and out. I felt wrapped in her love! That’s taught me that sometimes frugality can take a momentary backseat when there’s an opportunity to wrap one of my children in an act of love.

As a pre-teen, I also learned from my mom that hiking up my skirt to make it look like a mini-skirt, although done in secret, was something she would still find out about. I wondered at the time, “HOW does she do it??” Now I know! (One day, my sons will learn how I do it, but until then, I like that they marvel at this parental talent.)

I learned to put the safety of my children ahead of my own comfort when my mom taught me to change diapers in the church nursery. Back then, we still used cloth diapers and diaper pins. She taught me to put my hand between the pin and the baby. I protested, “But I might get poked, Mom!” She quietly replied, “That’s the idea, honey.”

As a rebellious teen, I learned from Mom that a mother’s love is not contingent upon any act of my own design. She simply loved me and waited for me to return to her, without any condemnation. Unconditional love is a priceless gift.

As a 19-year-old, living in Costa Rica, away from my family for the first time, I learned from Mom that little things like a piece of Big Red gum tucked into a letter can scream, “I love you, I’m thinking of you, and I miss you” without even one written word.

And although my mom went to be with Jesus when I was just becoming a mommy myself, she is present in so many moments of my day, every day.

Every time I cuddle my children around me and read to them. Every time I bake Mom’s famous cookie recipe just because I want to delight my children with fresh-baked goods. Every time I sing to them certain hymns which are deeply etched in my memory because of Mom sitting at the piano playing them over and over and over. Every time I discipline my children and send them off with a hug and a smile. Every time I read the Word to my children and have them do their penmanship work from Scripture. Every time my children and I stop to admire the tulips or gaze up at billowy clouds or pine for a ride upon hearing the sound of a train whistle. Every time I take a newborn into my home and kiss that wee stranger on the cheek. Every time we engage in so many other seemingly insignificant activities throughout the day, my mom’s signature is on so much of my mothering.

My mom was a gift. Even during that period in my life when I was sure she wasn’t, she really was.

If she were alive today, I would have found a way to be at her side and whisper to her again, “Thanks, Mom, you did a great job!”

Since I can’t do that, my lasting tribute to her is to raise my children to know all about their gramma, Eunice. (For example, I take them out to eat on her birthday every year and regale them with tales of their gramma.) And best of all, I carry on the traditions with my children that Mom instilled in me, traditions that constantly pointed my heart toward my Savior.

Thanks, GOD, for my mom, Eunice.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed . . .
Proverbs 31:28a

Copyright © 2010 Deborah Rice, PeaPodFamilyPress

Tears and waiting . . .

Since my girls have left our home, we’ve seen them once. It was hard on the girls. They thought we were there to take them home. And for me it was hard to resist scooping them up and taking them home! It was difficult for me to encourage their mom to do the hard work to gain her footing as a mommy to three children under 3 years old. But that’s what she needs right now. She needs to hear that she’s already done the hard work to be sober for almost 2 years and she can also do the hard work to be the mom her daughters (my daughters) need her to be.

I hated seeing that the girls have a TV in their bedroom. Their mom reports that they have it on all the time. “But,” she says, with a modicum of authority, “I only allow them to watch the Disney channel.” [Oh, that’s better. As if Disney had any value.]

The LORD has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
(Psalm 116:8)

The other day I took my sons to the pediatric dentist for a check-up. (No cavities for either of them! Yay!!) While in the waiting room, a TV was tuned to the Disney channel. Without thinking, I glanced at the screen and said to the boys, “This is what the girls are seeing right now.” Tears instantly, unexpectedly, and uncontrollably poured down my cheeks. Somehow seeing the Disney channel made me feel closer to them in that moment. Oh how I miss them. It was an awkward moment when the hygienist called us to the exam room. Tears make people uncomfortable.

Trusting the promise in Psalm 126:5 yields great shouts of joy for my absent daughters . . . one day . . .

Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. (Psalm 126:5)

Went into the girls’ bedroom the other day. How quiet. Memories of them piled into one crib jumping as if the moon were within reach and B.G. singing, “Yes, Gee-sah-shush loves me.” I can still hear her voice and I can see J.J.’s dimpled and mischievous smile. Getting into the same crib when they were supposed to be sleeping was a “no-no”. Wish I could walk into their room again and have my secret moment of giggles at the sight of them tumbling around in the same crib.

I wonder what B.G.’s singing about today.

Death is swallowed up in victory. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears.
(Isaiah 25:8)

Last week we went shopping at Costco. It was our first trip there since the girls left. Again, unexpectedly, tears poured down my face. Memories rushed to greet me. Shopping at Costo with four children is not easy. But there were enjoyable moments. We even captured some Costco moments on film! One thing I didn’t capture on film, but is nevertheless captured in my mind, is the sound of them squealing with delight as they bounced in the double-seater grocery cart as if they were on an E-ticket ride. Then the real arrow to my heart on that first Costco trip without them was when I passed by the diapers. We didn’t need anything from that section. I felt a heave in my chest.

For the Lamb on the throne will be their Shepherd. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water. And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” (Rev. 7:17)

And a couple of nights ago, tears streamed prolifically down my cheeks and onto my pillow as I thought for a brief nano-second that I heard the girls in their room sneaking out of bed. It’s been about a month since they’ve been gone. But that’s not very long compared to the 2 and a half years B.G. was with us and the 1 and a half years that J.J. was with us. A lifetime for them.

How can I guard my heart from those moments when I come face-to-face with the pain of missing my daughters? Evidence that they’re gone is really EVERYWHERE.
What do I do with those moments? Well, not much.

Although yesterday when Archer-Son had tears streaming down his cheeks because I said “No” to one of his requests, I was able to reach out to him and comfort him by saying, “I know how you feel. Hearing ‘no’ can hurt pretty bad sometimes, can’t it?” Seems my 7-year old son just wanted to know that I knew he was hurting. He trusted me and the decision I made, but it still hurt.

Likewise, I trust my Heavenly Father. He said, “No” when I repeatedly asked for my girls to be my forever daughters. He knows the beginning from the end. He knows what is best. I trust Him. Yes, there are plenty of tears being caught up in a bottle these days. But I do have the hope in a promise from my King that one day there will be shouts of joy in Heaven as we no longer see in the mirror dimly.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. (I Corinthians 13:12)

And lest anyone thinks I have lost all earthly joy, rest assured that with two rambunctious forever-sons in my home, there is no lack of joy. We are bursting at the seams with delight as we explore outings that were previously unavailable to us with two little ones dependent on naps.

The Triune, Eternal God is faithful. Amen!

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Rev. 21:4

Copyright © 2010 Deborah Rice, PeaPodFamilyPress