A Blessing Party for my newly-turned teenage son

Reveling today in the events of my oldest turning 13.

Without an earthly father, I am always seeking our Heavenly Father’s wisdom on how to help my sons gain a vision for godly manhood.

This led me to host a blessing party for Josiah.

I invited seven men from church, plus my dad, also known as Gramps. These are all men who my son knows well and have either expressed an interest in coming alongside of him, or someone who my Dear Son #1 has admired for specific reasons.

I sent a save-the-date invitation to these men 3 months early and bless their hearts, they did!

There is no way that I can fully describe the blessing that the evening was to my son and to me.

One of the men opened in prayer.

Then, I read a letter to Dear Son #1 that included how I came to choose his name (he’s heard the story a hundred times before, but it is good to record it for the future). I also read to him how I’ve seen him grow into a courageous young man – serving, stepping out of his comfort zone when it was the right thing to do, and listing other specific examples.

Next, the men read their letters to him, too – describing the angst of their teen years, as well as what they see God doing in his life and sharing specific passages of Scripture as a blessing.

These letters are now in my son’s keepsake box and will be something he can review over the years.

Two men decided not to read their letter aloud, which is fine. One of them was my Dad — my son’s Gramps. I knew why. At 82, Dad cries easily and I know he was afraid he would totally lose it!

Of course, crying is okay for a man, as one of the other men proved when he read his letter aloud.

During the more serious segment of the blessing party and the reading of the men’s letters, my precious little-boy-turned-teenager, on the cusp of becoming a man, who is typically uncomfortable in the limelight, soaked up the affirmation, exhortation, and challenges from each letter. I was impressed with his poise.

Our pastor ended the first-half of the evening with prayer, while the men encircled J.T. and laid hands on him. I wonder how he felt with all those strong hands tangibly telling him, “We’re here for ya, bud!”

I am so thankful for my friend Isabelle who offered to come and help me for the evening. I love throwing parties, but I’m a lousy hostess.

Napkins? Uh, sure. I should probably get those out now, right?

Utensils? OH good point. Those would be better than fingers!

Isabelle was also extremely helpful with my daughters. Everyone should have a good friend like her!

With the serious part of the evening so nicely wrapped-up, the men moved on to the exciting part of the evening: Junk Food and a Blow Dart game. Yes, that’s right BLOW DARTS!

Danger! Competition! Manly! Three exceedingly important elements for any game to be worth playing!

We ended the evening with a group photo – with one thankful momma, tears in her eyes – behind the camera.

Thank you, Almighty GOD, for this evening and teaching my children that You are their Perfect Heavenly Father. Thank you, men, for taking time out of an already packed schedule to bless Dear Son #1, and thank you Isabelle, for being my faithful friend!

SEED OF FAITH
Psalm 68:5, “A Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.”

Making our own Christmas traditions

As a single mom of four (ages 13, 9, 5, and 4), I don’t have much money for gifts. On top of that, without any family around to help my children think ahead, there is rarely anything for Momma under the tree. (Except this year, a couple of friends surprised me!)

I confess that I used to lament this in the early years, but now I’m thankful.

Christmas, for me, is more about traditions and spending time together. It took my spoiled-self a while to get there, but I’m so glad the Lord allowed me the time to develop this grateful heart.

I know spending time together might sound kind of redundant for a homeschool family that is together 24/7! Yet, our togetherness on Christmas Eve and Christmas is distinctly different than it is during the normal school year.

Since the Lord started building my family by way of foster care and adoption, I find myself more and more thankful for the new traditions we’ve been able to form — largely because we don’t have extended family nearby.

One example of a new tradition is that years ago we adopted an elderly gentleman in a nursing home who was referred to us by the pastor of our church at the time. I know kids can be a big distraction, but their youthfulness is often enjoyed by the elderly.

Our elderly friend Marvin had polio when he was a young boy that resulted in a lame leg. He had lived in that nursing home many years before we met him. His only means of getting around was a scooter. His world was pretty limited.

Marvin had an older sister who lived in our area, but she was rarely able to visit due to her own illnesses. Marvin’s wife had died long ago. His two children lived in New York. They never came to visit in the 7 years we knew him. We were his only consistent visitors.

We visited Marvin at least once a month until his death. As soon as Dear Son #2 began toddling, it was clear we needed a better place to visit him than in the close quarters of his nursing home room. So, I started bringing him meals. I received permission to use the facility’s private dining room so that Marvin, my young children, and I could share the meal together — this room helped me contain my energetic children!

By the time Marvin died, I had 5 children in tow (my older two sons riding on Marvin’s scooter while the three litte ones rode in my cadillac stroller).

My children and I spent every holiday, including Christmas Day, with Marvin during those 7 years. Yes, it was a lot of work to get the meal loaded and the children dressed and buckled in the van, but it was a beloved tradition for me and my children.

God used my rambunctious and ever-changing family to be Marvin’s local family and to widen his world by bringing our world to him. We will always remember fondly our time with Marvin, as well as how the nursing home residents swooned over each and every kiddo — touching their hands as if they could absorb some youth from them. It was sweet. Even today my sons still miss Marvin.

If we had extended family expecting us to make the rounds every year, I think my kids would grow up thinking of Christmas as a frenetic event versus a time for disconnecting from frenzy. Truly our Christmases have the memory of peace for us.

Christmas is also a calm time for us because we don’t have the pressure to buy huge amounts of presents. This takes some real restraint because there are so many media messages calling us to spend money.

A new tradition formed while my mom was still living came about on the year she and I celebrated Christmas together without any other family around. The part of our family who lived nearby was out of state for Christmas that year. We both felt pretty sad for ourselves.

We decided that rather than staying home and trying to make a traditional meal for just the two of us, we would go to a local resort that is well-known for its Christmas menu. It was sort of expensive, so we decided this excursion would be our present to each other.

During the meal, my mom surprised me with a wrapped gift. The small card read, “From my home to yours” and I LOVED it! I still have that crystal dinner bell. I use it to call my children to the table on special occasions and often remind them of the story of how it came to be mine. So memorable was that singular present I opened on that very special Christmas, that it is one of a handful of presents I can remember receiving after all these years. Isn’t that great?!?

Her simple and gracious act of sharing something from her home set within me a simplicity that I was able to enjoy recently with a friend when we exchanged items from our home. Now when I use my friend’s coffee mug with flowers painted in her favorite color, I think of her EVERY TIME and pray for her!

Christmas 2012 began to unfold far differently than I’d planned due to a Christmas Eve trip to the emergency room when Dear Son #2 had a head-on bicycle collision with a parked van. Even still, I have a growing gratitude that our tradition is about NOT having many plans. His injuries kept us closer to home than usual this year, which turned out to be an awesome foundation for what was about to come!

Keeping special occasions low-key means we get to enjoy letting the day be what God would have it to be.

Now at Christmas, I do not lament the absence of an abundance of wrapped presents under the tree, but am truly thankful that the presents we do have capture my children’s attention and that we are together. It might sound corny and contrived, but simple is better.

SEED OF FAITH
Proverbs 15:17, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.”