Compassionate wisdom: Training my children to serve others

Note: The following post may evoke controversy, although that is not my intention. This is written to boast in the work of the Lord.

Recently we have added a long-distance trip to our weekly routine. I purchased some laying hens and until we move into our new home, their former owners have graciously allowed our newly adopted chickens to stay right where they are. We go once or twice a week to clean the coop and gather the eggs.

Because we’ve been doing this for a while now, we’ve become acquainted with several homeless people along the Chicken Day route. Our first encounter was with Hector, a wheelchair-bound man in his 40s.

Right away my kids expressed a serious interest in Hector’s welfare.

The contents of the first care package prepared by Peter: Stew in Styrofoam cups with a spoon taped to the foil, bananas, fruit snacks, cooks, fig bars, and turkey sandwiches

Peter’s heart was touched by Hector’s condition. One our 3rd or 4th trip, my typically self-centered son (age 11) asked if he could pack some food for Hector. This has now become his habit. He makes sure before we head out to care for the chickens that we have food for Hector and some extra for anyone else with him. Our bag of food gets larger and more varied each time we go. Sometimes Hector isn’t in his typical spot, but with a little bit of extra driving, we find him under a shade tree or in a nearby parking lot.

Hector usually has at least one friend with him who helps push his wheelchair. We’ve met Pete, Nicholas, and Earl, and about seven others whose names are less familiar to me.

Our routine on Chicken Day means that when we find Hector and his friends, I get out of the van along with one big brother. The other big brother stays in the van with the four little girls. We distribute the food bags and talk briefly with them. We also listen to their stories. Each one has freely admitted their battles with addictions and mental health issues.

Our Chicken Days have become some of my most cherished times with my children as I see the Lord shaping their hearts to minister to the poor and downcast.

This week, we found Hector, Nicholas, and Earl in an abandoned parking lot. We distributed the food and watched as Earl (age 54) opened Hector’s sandwich bag for him because his hands are so stiff he cannot grasp the edges of the ziplock bag. All three men dug into the shepherd’s pie that I made for them and we chatted.

With zero transition and sounding uncharacteristically bold, Josiah (age 14) blurted out a question to Nicholas (age 24) who looked to be in pain and admitted that he was suffering from a bout with meth the previous night.

“Hey Nicholas, what size shoes do you wear?”

That seemed random to me. But I looked down and saw what Josiah had already noticed: Nicholas’ shoes were so torn that his toes were sticking out and the laces could no longer be threaded due to the lack of material.
Providentially, Josiah and Nicholas are both size 12. Without asking my permission, he asked Nicholas if he would take his boots. Nicholas resisted at first, but Josiah was persuasive . . . (again!) uncharacteristically outgoing and persuasive!

Right then and there Josiah gave Nicholas his socks and waterproof hiking boots. I was in awe of what God was doing in and through my son in that holy moment. After putting on the boots, Nicholas stood up and shook our hands and asked if we could pray so I asked Nicholas if he would do the honors. There we stood in that abandoned parking lot – the three homeless men, my barefoot Josiah, and I – while the heart of a young man poured out before us in his gratitude to God.

I will never be able to fully capture that moment in words.

We said our good-byes and got back into the van. Hadassah and Bethany were worried about Josiah’s bare feet. They pointed out that he still had to care for the chickens and he had to do so without his boots! His little brother Peter came to the rescue and let him use his flip flops, and although they were too small for Josiah’s feet they did provide some protection from the chicken poo.

On the way home, Josiah (again!!) uncharacteristically shared his insights:

1. If he hadn’t had need of in-shoe braces, he would be in a size 11, but he needs a full size larger to accommodate those bulky braces. He saw this as a reason to be thankful for his disability since that was Nicholas’ exact size!

2. He said he was glad we haven’t found a new home yet. If we had, we wouldn’t have to travel down there to take care of our chickens and he wouldn’t have seen Nicholas’ need.

3. He noted that the boots have now been a gift twice. Those hiking boots were gifted to him by a friend from church and he has loved wearing them, but now he was able to gift them to Nicholas!

The next day, Josiah was struck with another observation.

My son noted that the day after gifting the boots to Nicholas it rained in Phoenix and it even turned a bit cool, especially at night. Josiah commented what great timing that Nicholas could have warm, waterproof boots on such a damp and rainy day.

Josiah and Peter might be awkward and uncomfortable in many situations, but I think God is doing something amazing in the hearts of my sons. I am so blown away by God’s grace and mercy toward me and my children and, through our hands, toward a small band of homeless men whom He loves just as much as He loves us.

On the drive home, we discussed what God allowed us to do and Josiah commented how comfortable he feels talking with the homeless. He said he finds the poor friendlier than the wealthy.

Make no mistake. On our own we are not especially bold or kind.

My kids and I are often quick to selfishly sin under less noble circumstances. But if I wait until I am perfect to be used by God, then I will have lived my whole life behind closed doors and we all will miss the joy of serving Him. Because of God’s forgiveness of our sins, because of His grace and mercy, we can see that it is God who works in and through us – using us as His vessels of love. Similarly, He uses others in our lives, too.

Ever since my sons were 2 and 5 years old, God has allowed us to help specific homeless people over extended periods of time. Those encounters begin and end unexpectedly and yet they leave lasting memories in all of our hearts. I’m so humbled to be the momma of my uniquely assembled family and thankful that our flexible homeschool days can include ministering to the poor with God’s love shining through my children.

Seeds of Faith
“For the poor will never cease to be in the land; therefore I command you, saying, ‘You shall freely open your hand to your brother, to your needy and poor in your land.’” Deuteronomy 15:11

“….but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:24

A final note for those who find helping the homeless controversial . . .

When I shared this with a friend, he accused me of being too naïve and even of collecting homeless people like pets. His reaction was not surprising to me. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The homeless are the poor whose lives occasionally intersect with ours. From our own abundance, we are able to give in the name of the Lord. I have no expectations as to the outcome of the generosity God allows us to share with them because, as with us and anyone else on earth, the outcome is in God’s hands.

I do not have authority over the homeless we serve and cannot dictate what decisions they make with what we share with them. Indeed, Nicholas might turn around and sell the boots my son gave to him and then use that money for more meth. Once my son gave Nicholas those boots, that young meth addict became accountable for the gift given to him.

On the other hand, God has granted me authority over my children. Through the circumstances allowed in our daily lives, I get the honor of:

• Shepherding them to let go of the Keeping-Up-With-The-Joneses Mentality (sorry to my friends with the last name of Jones)

• Training them to see their lives through the lens of God’s love flowing out from them to those whom He also loves

• Reminding them as each day unfolds that acts of kindness won’t buy them a place in heaven, but that faith without works is dead

• Encouraging them to look beyond their own limitations and to practice what God helps them to understand as compassionate wisdom.

I do not foster a notion that the homeless are our pets. Far from it. Praise God, His wisdom prevails in our lives.

Seeds of Faith
“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” James 2:14-17

Copyright © 2014 Deborah Rice, PeaPodFamilyPress

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Tags: brotherly love, Deuteronomy 15:11, homeless, homeschool, homeschooling, James 2:14-17, Jeremiah 9:24, raising sons, salvation, saved by grace, seeds of faith, serving others, shepherding children, single mom, single parent

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